A most generous gulp

If it ever has been true that diamonds or handbags are a girl’s best friend it  is true not any longer. Even if the obvious magazines still discuss the question of this year’s favorite Kelly Bag color, the reality has proven them far different. The true accessoire of our days is the water-bottle and no I don’t mean their luxurious sister, the coconut water or bottles with the name Fiji water on it. Whatever Fiji might do good to this water, the water I am speaking of is filled between Tipperary and Limerick and sold in every TESCO or SUPERVALU up and down the country. And obviously, the rain which pours down here quite often makes everyone very thirsty. Because otherwise how would you explain that nearly every student, who comes to my class brings with him a water bottle and the background sound of every hour  is a sizzling and zazzling of opened and closed bottles. No class passes by without a bottle falling down. It must be some kind of Murray’s law for seminars, without no water in front of you, you are not even there and from the scientific view of things, that claims so coldly that human beings are made of 80 Percent water this might be true. So whenever a text is read or a question will be discussed a deep gulp or a shy sip is urgently needed. But the water bottle follows you everywhere, in the office it’s exactly the same, and there it’s not water alone, but a trillion of coffee cups secretly rule the floors with iron fists. I swear there are colleagues among us, I recognize by the sound of their slurping and that’s not a nice thing to do. No meeting can begin till a parade of most ugly mugs stands in front of the participants and those who could escape the coffee black as tar, get offered in the next second of course a bottle of water. But if you dare to say, no thanks, you will get a lecture, not a lecture but a threat where not drinking enough water comes closes to deny the sweetness of kitten babies. And when you finally escape from being lectured and your desk and seeks relief in a movie, you only need to wait a few seconds and then they all will come, those who carry Coke cups as big as a gallon, other people arrive with SLUSH an awkward mixture of ice and whatever chemicals and of course, the water bottle already is opened on my left and right. A happy, a joyful companion this simple bottle must be and so there is a slurping and gulping that you never forget, wherever you are, the water bottle is already there.

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